‘’Mian Kodo’’ 15 Lakh Ka To ‘’Chodo‘’ ? (Hassan Nisar Oped in Roman Urdu)

HASSAN NISAR — T.V par makhsos shaklon ko makhsos andaz main makhsos logon kay makhsos jaraim ka difah karte dakhne say badar-jaha batahr hy, k admi qurbani kay mukhtalif janvaroon kay darshan kr ly. Kam az kam ya bay-zaban kisi k to kam ayan gy. Kesae kesae Anuth, Bail, Chatrae, Dumbae aur phr in kay dil-chasap naam . Huliae aur qeemtian kay aik normal say janvar ki qeemat main kaaei 100 vote kharidae ja saktae hain . Do teen T.V Chanals par kari-garon ko Aunthon ki khaloon pr naqsh-o-nigar banatae dikhae to yaad aya k es bareek kam aur fun-kari ko Arabi zuban main ‘’Saleeqa’’ kahatae hain, jo hamarae han be mustaamal hain lakin zara mukhtalif mahno main istamal hota hai. Janvaroon kae huliae be qabal-e-zikr hain. Kuch to daikh ker yon mehsoos hota hai jaisae abhi abhi beauty parlor  sae niklae hon. Aik Gaye to baqaida ‘’Cat Walk ‘’ karti dikhai de. Faraq sirf sahat ka ramp per walk karnae walian bohat kamzoor hoti hian . Gaye sahat-mand aur esi hawalae sae mahngi bhi Kuch ziayda the. Qurbani kae en janvaroon ke banawat sajawat  mian rang ba-rangae malbosaat aur ziaverat kae sath sath mahndi aur digar rangon ka istamal bhi farakh-dili sae kia ja rha hai. In janvaroon ki khorakoon ka zikar be zaroori hay. Jinain doodh ,makhan ,ghi ,badaam ,muraba , aur phal wagerah khilaye jatae hian. Yahan tak k Gandhi ji ki bakeri  aur Zardari sahib ki Auntni yaad ati hai. Gandhi ji  jis khus-naseeb ki bakeri ka doodh nosh-e-jaan kia kartae , us muhtaram ko dry fruit bilkhasos badam khilayae jatae thae. Is tarah Zardari sahib ki makhsos Auntni ko bhi kushtoon samiat khas khorak khilai jati hai. Ta-ka siyasat main kushtoon kae pushtay laga sakian k is khail main uper  neachy hota hi ratha hai. Dunya ki mehngi tareen khorak main wo Beef bhi shamil hay jiase Bear par pala jata hai. Zahir hay jis janvar ko bear pila pila kar farbah kia gia ho uska goshat bhi bhot nasheela aur raseelah hoga lakin me ya nahi janta k is ka goshat hilal hoga, ya haram,  ya makrooh. Lakin theek suna, lazeez bhot hota hai. Es ki chooti chooti botioon ko abaltae pani main halka sa ghota dia jaye to kafi hai. Baat sirf Ghandi ji aur Zardari sahib ke nahi, balkae Mughaloon , Usmanion aur Roos kae zaroon ke khorak hi phr lian to banda toba toba kr uthta hae. Ya log jin janvaroon ka goshat khaya kartae thae . Enhian  wo kuch  khiliya kartae thae k parh k mat mari jati hai.

Lakin kitne ajeeb baat hay k inhian bhi zameen kha gaye. Ap ko shaid yaqeen na aye k roosi inqalaab parzar shahi nay jo khan khiaya is me in ka  margoob tareen ‘’soop’’ bhi shamil tha aur ya tha kia? Bojho to janian ……ya khas khorakon par lay gaye shahi janvarron kay pieon ka shorbah tha. Hamare ‘’Zaroon ‘’ ko bhi paye aur pion ka soop bhot pasand hay. Bad shaoon ka zikar to chorian ……. Bare sagheer kay Rajoon ,  Mahrajoon , Najawanu kay bavarchi kahnu ka haal hi phr lain to Hamesha Hamesha kay lia bhook uhr jay. Mann bhar ghoshat ki yakhni karh karh kr chand sair bananay kay bad is main jo pilao tiyar hota, shareef admi is ka ak laqma bhi bardashat nhe kr sakhta tha. Mulazim ny Nawab sahib ki churooi hoi adhi glukari kha li to qabar astaan jaty ajty bacha. Ya sb apny dantoon say apni apni qabar khodathy rhy aur phr in main hi abdi neend so gay.mujhy bhi ak aisa hi shana khan yaad aarha hy jis mian bhuna hwa salam aunth pashees kia gia. Jis k andar murghi say lay kr machli ,talwar say lay kar tittar tak kay chawalon samiat majood thy aur MORE OVER kay toor par hr qisam k khush mehwah bhi. Is me sahrie kar lay ‘’ GO’’ ka ghoshat bhi shamil bhi tha .Jo Hihal hay…. Bhar hal bat kahan sy chali thi ,aur kahan ponch gaye k jb likhna na atta ho to yhi Koch hota hay jo is kalam me mare sath ho gia hay k banda idhr udhar mauh mare mare kaheen  say kaheen ja niklta hay . Bat ho rhi thi qarbani k janvarron ki qismooh ki ,huloin , qimatoon aur in kay naamo k zalim ‘’Mazlamoon’’ ko aisa aisa naam daty hain k ji khus hho jata hay mukhtalif TV. Chanals par mian taqreeban adh Darjin ‘’Sher Punjab’’ do adad  ‘’Ratam’’ aik ‘’Gamma’’ aur najanaye kitne rimakian , mirain , karnain, Qatarian aur dipikiyan  dakh chukka hoon…… aik ak kali siah ‘’Wahdri ‘’ Rani Mukhar ji aur dusri kajol ki bhi thi.bupari nay ak gori  chiti bhiar ko riban ghanghron wagerah pahnaye kay sath sath is ki surahi war garden main ‘’AYAN’’ ki nein plate bhi latkie hoi thi lakin sab sy phaly dilchpas ak ajeeb ilkhliqat qisam ka mutihiqah khaiz  bakra tha jis ka tarauf karaty hawe malik nay kha….. ya mian kodu haye jis ki qimat pindrah lakh haye  ‘’log is par toot phare rahe thy , salfie banwa rahy thy aur  aur me soch rha tha k agr mian  ‘’MIAN KODU’’pandrah lakh ka hay to  ‘’ MIAN Choir do’’ midan mian aa gia to wo kitne ka hoga ? ya ropion main nhe Daloron mian biky ga. Aham note : Bakron Chatroon mian Sharukh , Ritak roshan , Akshaye kumar , aur aamir kahn to thy lakin Afsos hamara koi super star shamil na tha na  Moammar Rana or na Shan .

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